F.A.Q about Swinging and Swing Clubs

The below Frequently Asked Questions are a cultivation from various personal and club web sites involved in the alternative lifestyle commonly known as "swinging." Some minor changes have been edited to afford a general answer as opposed to one specific club or person(s). We credit AUS, Couples Plus, and NASCA for their contributions.

What is Swinging?

Swinging is social and sexual intercourse with someone other than your mate, boyfriend or girlfriend, excepting the traditional one-on-one dating. It may be defined as recreational social sex. The activity may occur at a swing party, a couple-to-couple encounter, a liaison, or with a third person in a threesome. Though single men and women are involved, it is primarily an activity of couples.

What and who are Swingers?

People who swing come from all back grounds. Some are from different economic levels, job classifications, races and nationalities. Physically you will see all types; tall or short, skinny or fat, young or old, and everything in between. Swingers tend to be adventuresome, emotionally mature, and have excellent relationships with their spouse, family and friends. Swingers are just ordinary people with normal sexual desires just like you. Most swingers are pleasant people who want to form friendships that will include the warmth of sexual expression and intimacy. Single people are involved in swinging but not to the extent of couples. Many single women have joined swing clubs, finding them a refreshing alternative to the traditional bar scene.

What is Sex in Swinging Like?

The actual sexual activity of swinging is varied. Though important, swinging is rarely centered around the orgasm but on the various pleasurable acts that lead to orgasm. Once on a bed, the participants will generally begin with kissing and caressing each other’s body. Both the woman’s and man’s nipples are favorite places of fondling, sucking and gentle nibbling, followed by licking and kissing around the genital area, then the genitals directly. Most develop techniques they feel pleasure their various partners.

Sixty-nine or mutual oral-genital pleasuring is popular. Either partner may masturbate the other, and vibrators may be employed, especially in group swing scenes such as in the swing club’s group room. These activities may be intermixed with intercourse done in a variety of ways. Anal sex is popular with some swingers. Bisexual swinging is more common among women than among men.

Can we visit a club as nonmembers?

Most swing clubs are by private membership. Membership are usually obtained on your first visit to a club by filling out a membership application and showing picture ID, be prepared. Sometimes you may attend as a Guest only if accompanied by another member couple. Different clubs have different rules. Contact the individual clubs to make sure you understand their rules.

Do we have to be a married couple to join a club?

You'll be welcomed whether you're married, dating, living with your significant other, or going steady. Today's world has changed dramatically from just a few years ago. Marriage is not a condition of belonging. Most clubs are for male/female couples only. You must be of legal age and both of you need to know what the club is all about.

What if we see someone at a club from work or from any other "straight" affiliation?

Remember, they are in the "same boat" as you are. You should not be embarassed, be happy people just like you are like minded. It may even bring your friendship closer. What goes on in the club should STAY at the club.

I am married, but want to attend as a single. Is that allowed?

This lifestyle is an honest open lifestyle. It is based on trust and friendship. Some clubs allow a member to enter if their spouse is aware of them going. It is up to the individual clubs to regulate whether they allow married members attend a function. If a club does not allow it, do not press the issue, you may find yourself not a member anymore.

Are our names ever given out?

Most clubs usually understand the discretion and privacy necessary in this lifestyle and merely want your address to send you their event schedule. If you do not want to recieve any mailings from a club, make sure you let them know.

How should we dress for a club?

Most clubs have no set dress code , unless set out in a club newsletter where such indicators as "Black Tie" or "Costume" would appear. However, showing up in torn jeans and a t-shirt may raise an eyebrow or two. The main thing to stress is to dress for yourself. Be Comfortable. Dress to impress.

What is the age range of those in the lifestyle??

Though swinging is open to everybody and there are those from their early 20's through to their 50's, the bulk of the ages of the men & women are in their 30's, 40's

How do we meet couples?

There are clubs all over the U.S.. If you are particularly nervous, ask a host to introduce you to other couples. Since you are reading this on the web, you can find plenty of swing related sites that offer free placement of your ad. Couples chat rooms on the Web and AOL allow you to chat with others in your area that are seeking people just like you.

What is a Swing Club?

NASCA defines swing clubs as any organization, formal or informal, which exists to provide swinging activities. Swing clubs exist in a variety of forms. These include Swing Clubs, Party Houses, Circles and Socials, Bars and Cocktail Lounges and Contact Services. All but the contact services may be on-premises or off-premises. Contact services work through the mail or telephone and rarely provide swing parties although they may promote group travel. Parties given by on-premises swing clubs may have from ten to sixty or more couples, though twenty to forty couples is the common average. On-premises means that sexual activity occurs at the party. Off premises swing clubs, cocktail lounges and bars help you to meet other swingers. Swinging will be elsewhere with the interested couples and singles responsible for the arrangements. The arrangements include who is to be invited, the location, date and time.

The on premises party offers a wide possibility of social interaction, selection, potential of swinging with others in a foursome, threesome, one-on-one, or in a group scene. Bisexual as well as heterosexual swinging is possible, principally among women. And the club on-premises party offers this without pressure in a structured environment. Private, semi-private and group rooms are generally provided to meet the desires of virtually everyone. Heated pools, Jacuzzi’s and hot tubs may be available to accent the social environment.

We're curious, but want to just see what a club is all about, can we do that?

Certainly, you can. Call or write any club you are interested in visiting. If calling, be prepared to talk to an answering machine and to leave a number for them to contact you. It is ill advised to call any club during operating hours to try to pick their brain while they are tending to the members at the club. Most clubs will be more than happy to answer any questions about their club, especially if they can call you when it's not so hectic for them.

Can we be up front about our sexual desires?

Yes by all means be up-front. It is essential that everyone know up-front what they are getting into. You could save everyone from a potentially embarrassing situation later on. If you are Bi, and it is important that your partner also be bi, make sure your new found friends are too. Also find out about everyone's limits.

What happens If a couple comes on to us and we're not comfortable with them?

Just say "NO, Thank You". Respect another couple's right to selectivity. We are all great people, but for one reason or another we may not appeal to another couple NOW. A "NO" today may not mean a " NO " tomorrow. But don't be pushy about it.

What if I find myself in an uncomfortable situation?

If a couple or a situation make you feel ill-at-ease, perhaps it's time to invoke the rule of "NO Thank You" You should never feel pressured into doing anything you are not comfortable doing. You're here to have fun. Being coerced is NO FUN. So if anyone persists, talk to the host couple.

What happens if someone does not take "NO" for an answer.

If a couple or a person can't take "NO" for an answer, you should immediately tell the host or hostess in charge about this. They're trained to deal with this in a friendly unobtrusive manner without causing you or the person bothering you any embarrassment.

I want to meet other couples, but we're very shy.

As a group, couples are friendly outgoing people. But it is a two-way street. You should introduce yourself to the others there. If you're unusually shy, or if the group appears cliquish, ask your host to make some introductions for you. That's why they are there. And, remember most couples have come to meet other new couples.

Respect other peoples right to Privacy and be discreet. What you see, or what you heard and where you saw it is all privileged information. Don't abuse this privilege.

A final reminder to very E X P E R I E N C E D PlayCouples. Take some time with new couples. A friendly chat over a drink, or cup of coffee goes a long way. Remember once upon a time . . . , you were new to all this too.

Regarding Singles in Swinging

Ladies

You will find in a lifestyle a place to seek out whatever your fantasies may be. You can participate in this lifestyle at any pace you want to. You can meet another lady, a couple or a man. You can enjoy whatever level of involvement you want to. Fantasy A threesome with a lady is the most common fantasy in our lifestyle. You can pick and choose what ever you want or whatever you don't want to do. You make the rules. Be assured that no means no.and that your wishes will be respected. Of course there is much more to this lifestyle than a menage' a trois. You can discover your sexuality and enjoy your freedom. Really it's up to you! Single Married Ladies This lifestyle is an honest open lifestyle. It is based on trust and friendship.

Single Men

Single Men have the hardest road to finding success in the "Swinging Lifestyle". Most clubs do not admit single men. The reasons for this are plentiful but the most obvious reason is that there are far more men that want to participate in this lifestyle than there is a demand for them. Catch 22. Still there is a place for single guys in our lifestyle. Yet it is difficult making contact. How do you meet and contact people that are interested? Be it a female partner or couples interested in playing?. Single Married Men This lifestyle is an honest open lifestyle. It is based on trust and friendship. Most clubs will NOT allow married individuals to participate with or without their partners participation.

Couples in Swinging

Swinging is "the recreation" for couples whether they are married, committed (having an ongoing emotional commitment), living together (co-habitating, with or without an on-going intimate relationship) or single couples who date. A study of swinging couples (McGinley, 1979) reported increased enjoyment and satisfaction in the relationships accompanied by a better understanding of self and mate, greater intimacy between the partners and a decrease in sex role playing and sexist expectations.

Swinging enables a couple to explore sexual and social feelings and needs together, permitting a demystification of sex which allows sex to assume a place in the relationship unhindered by the standard ties to love, duty, sex roles and morals of others.

Women in Swinging

It is certainly an understatement to say that the role of women in our society has greatly changed over the past several decades. The humanistic and woman’s movements have had an impact on sexuality also. The number of women choosing involvement in swinging during the past few years is remarkable. Sexual and social assertiveness on the part of women at swing parties and other swing activities is not only acceptable, it has come to be expected.

To openly be oneself without fear of seeming unfeminine is a delightful experience for a woman and a welcome experience for the man. Swinging provides the environment to alter sex-role playing for both sexes, allowing men and women to participate with each other in a uniquely human experience.

Men in Swinging

Whether married, in a relationship or single, swinging can be a wonderful experience for a man. Not surprisingly, most women who are into swinging were introduced to the lifestyle by a man in their life. Also not surprising, many men would swing if only they could. They are hindered from the experience by their marriage, or if single, their inability to find a woman for a swinging partner. Of course, guilt feelings about sex and pleasure, and sex roles, also hinder men from swinging.

Men are not the macho, always ready, self-reliant persons of fiction. They are as human as their female counterparts. They experience loneliness and fear rejection. A man, on convincing his wife to try swinging, may experience unexpected jealousy and a feeling of loss when she walks hand in hand, partially nude and obviously excited, toward a bedroom with another towel-clad man. He had fantasized himself in swinging but had not comprehended the reality of his wife or mate swinging.

As with women, the experience of swinging can be growth producing for a man. It alters forever traditional concepts of man-woman relationships with sexist overtones. Through swinging, a man can experience a great deal of pleasure.

What is a Swing Publication?

Swing publications serve the swing community by publishing personal ads.

Many also publish photos of the advertisers. A few carry ads only. Most offer articles about swinging and sexual behavior. Personal ads offer a form of swinging that many find exciting. The placing and answering of ads is a swing activity in itself. It is exciting to open a letter describing a new couple, perhaps with photos. Socially meeting someone following an exchange of letters, photos and phone calls, with the possibility of swinging, is considered the height of swinging pleasure by many.

Credits:

NASCA International PO Box 7128 Buena Park, CA 90622-7128 Tel: (714) 229-4870 Fax: (714) 821-1465

For information contact nasca@nasca.com

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